I came across this article for a book that was coming out in 2015 (a simpler time before Covid). The premise was asking the question, does knowing what’s coming really prepare me for it? Trigger warnings are showing up all over the place as a way to warn people that what’s coming may be hard for some to see, hear, or read. (There are studies that also show this warning doesn’t actually help)
The most profound quote, to me was this:
“And what we learn about ourselves in those moments, where the trigger has been squeezed, is this: the past is not dead. There are things that wait for us, patiently, in the dark corridors of our lives. We think we have moved on, put them out of mind, left them to desiccate and shrivel and blow away; but we are wrong. They have been waiting there in the darkness, working out, practicing their most vicious blows, their sharp hard thoughtless punches into the gut, killing time until we came back that way.”
Neil Gaiman
Well, that’s a gut punch… and yet, it’s so very true. The past cannot be put away, forgotten, or ignored. It must be gone through. There is no bypass on this highway.
There is an element of choice as to when any of us choose to live through any moment of life. We can live it in the moment, 10 minutes from now, 10 years or more. (My personal favorite is “after I’ve cooled down.”) The trouble is, the longer we take to address it (i.g. “live through it”), the more stuff we can pile on top of it. Then we have to dig down through all of that stuff to get to the base issue. Ugh, it’s lots of work, and many therapists will tell you the work isn’t easy but so worth it.
The good news is, any day is a good day to start. It’s going to hurt, and it’s going to be uncomfortable… it was on day one, and we have to start there to get to day 2. BUT, I promise it will get better. We learn more about ourselves each time. We gain perspective. We bring the wisdom we learned along the way into the fold of this discussion. We grow. We love. We forgive (ourselves and others). We remember. We also honor the memory of those we love but lost along the way.
link to USA Today article: https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/books/2014/10/23/neil-gaiman-trigger-warning-cover-excerpt/17719799/?fbclid=IwAR3afHy3CphlW8A1MHR_QM3SknN_jAGXXqJ7cDUiXzljSZK2fJVuyXM-m0g
Veterinary Chaplaincy services 